What anxiety felt like for me

Alarm & activation

Panic, adrenaline and my body’s alarm going off, sometimes for no clear reason.

1. Sudden panic

   An intense surge of fear and physical alarm, especially during the first attack in 2019.

2. Fear of dying or a heart emergency

   The original sensations felt as though something immediately dangerous was happening.

3. Unexpected body surges

   Alarm could appear while driving or around sleep, without a clear reason in that moment.

4. Internal jitteriness

   A shaky feeling inside, even when the main experience was discomfort rather than a full panic attack.

5. Shaky hands

   A visible or noticeable hand shakiness that I described during the 2025 setback.

6. Feeling wired and full of adrenaline

   Feeling ramped up, restless, on edge or unable to properly relax.

7. Brief bodily flashes

   Short, strange surges or somatic flashes that were difficult to explain consistently.

8. Heat building in my body

   A warm or hot surge during episodes, especially with motion and feeling trapped.

9. Excessive sweating

   Sweating during anxious or motion-related periods, including times when other symptoms were much quieter.

10. A strange warped feeling in my back

    During the episode at the barber on 31 December 2025, I noticed an unusual warped back sensation alongside dry mouth, throat tightness, heartbeat awareness and fight-or-flight.

Motion & confinement

Cars, planes and the feeling of being unable to get out.

1. Automatic bracing

   My muscles would tense as speed or acceleration increased, without me choosing to do it.

2. A locked or frozen body feeling

   Feeling physically held in tension while seated in a car or plane.

3. Heightened awareness of acceleration

   Feeling speed changes intensely, as though my brain wanted everything to slow down.

4. A heavy dropping or free-fall sensation

   A strong internal drop sensation during movement, alongside heat and bracing.

5. Feeling confined

   Being distressed by being unable to leave, stop the movement or control the situation.

6. An urgent wish to escape

   Wanting to get out immediately; on a difficult flight I described wanting to eject from the plane.

7. Stomach churn with motion

   An unsettled, churning stomach accompanying the car-related fight-or-flight feeling.

8. Feeling off afterward

   After a sudden racing-heart episode in October 2025, I felt unlike my usual baseline for hours.

Heart & chest

A racing, pounding or skipping heart, and a heavy chest.

1. A racing heartbeat

   A fast-feeling heart during panic, exertion or an unexpected flare.

2. Pounding and heartbeat awareness

   Being strongly aware of my heartbeat, sometimes even when my mood and thoughts were calmer.

3. Skipped or irregular-feeling beats

   Beats that felt uneven, missed or unusually forceful; at times I called them aggressive or brutish.

4. Palpitations at rest or around sleep

   Noticeable while waking, lying in bed, falling asleep or turning from one side to the other.

5. Palpitations around meals or exercise

   Sometimes stronger after eating or during cardio; caffeine and energy drinks could intensify them.

6. Chest heaviness

   A heavy chest feeling during wired or unsettled periods. I also had a separate heavy feeling with pills seeming stuck.

Breathing

Air hunger, and breathing that felt shallow or out of rhythm.

1. Air hunger

   Feeling unable to get a full or satisfying breath, including when old symptoms returned suddenly.

2. Shallow or disrupted breathing

   Breathing could feel weak, awkward or heavily disturbed during a flare, particularly around food or bedtime.

3. Breathing difficulty with a dry throat during exercise

   Running could bring on dry mouth, a lump sensation and difficulty swallowing saliva.

4. Breathing and swallowing feeling out of sync

   During meals, I could still swallow but the coordination felt uncomfortable or difficult.

5. An automatic air gulp

   After fully exhaling through my nose, I noticed my body taking an involuntary gulp of air.

Mouth, throat & eating

Dry mouth, a tight throat, a lump feeling, and meals that got harder near the end.

1. Dry mouth

   A recurring lack of moisture, sometimes severe enough that my mouth felt almost empty of saliva.

2. A very dry tongue

   Especially when anxiety felt high or during the later part of a meal.

3. Saliva suddenly dropping mid-meal

   I often placed this around halfway to three-quarters through eating, rather than at the first bite.

4. Thick or sticky saliva

   At other times it felt mucus-like rather than simply absent.

5. Tight throat muscles

   A constricted feeling that could be prominent while eating and sometimes remain after a meal.

6. A lump or globus sensation

   Something seeming present in my throat even when describing a sensation rather than a confirmed blockage.

7. Difficulty swallowing saliva

   Especially during running or cardio, when the swallow could feel blocked or difficult to initiate.

8. Swallowing seeming to stall

   Partway through eating, my throat could feel as if it shut off or stopped working automatically.

9. The last bites becoming difficult

   A meal could begin normally but become slow and uncomfortable near the end.

10. Heightened awareness of every swallow

    Swallowing became something I monitored, especially after frightening experiences with food getting stuck.

11. A choking sensation

    Feeling as though I might choke, including with a tight throat or when my head tilted at the barber.

12. Meals taking much longer

    Sometimes around 30 minutes, with water or wetter food helping me get through them.

13. Post-meal throat discomfort

    Tightness or a lingering sense of food in the throat after I had eaten.

14. Stomach gas and pressure

    A full, bloated or pressurised feeling during or after food.

15. Frequent burping and trapped-air sensations

    Burping after water or swallowing, with breathing sometimes feeling as though air was trapped.

16. Reduced appetite

    At times I felt little desire to eat or had to push myself to finish meals, including during my long cut.

17. Early fullness

    Feeling full before finishing an ordinary meal, sometimes leaving a substantial part uneaten.

Mind & emotions

Feeling unreal or unlike myself, intrusive thoughts, and the fear of never recovering.

1. Derealization

   My surroundings or activities could feel detached, unfamiliar or as though they did not quite click.

2. Depersonalization

   Feeling disconnected from myself or from an action I had just done.

3. Feeling unlike myself

   Missing my usual ease, sharpness, confidence or emotional connection, even while carrying on with life.

4. Intrusive and unsettling thoughts

   Unwanted thoughts and questions that kept arriving and were difficult to leave alone.

5. Fear of going crazy

   Worrying that the strange mental sensations meant I might lose my mind or control.

6. Fear of becoming depressed

   Interpreting low mood or reduced motivation as a possible sign I would stop enjoying my life.

7. Mental chatter

   My mind yapping, especially on waking or when trying to fall asleep.

8. Overthinking and internal debate

   Talking back to my thoughts or repeatedly trying to reason my way out of a feeling.

9. Body scanning

   Checking across my body for symptoms and noticing each new sensation very closely.

10. Checking my emotions

    Questioning whether my laughter, pleasure or sense of improvement was genuine.

11. Repeated searching for reassurance

    Returning to questions about causes, recovery stages and whether I would get better.

12. Fear of never recovering

    Thoughts that the symptoms might stay forever, particularly during a setback.

13. Fear of becoming sensitized again

    Worrying that one flare meant I had undone my progress or badly affected my nervous system.

14. Low mood and random sadness

    Periods of feeling down, sometimes after the physical symptoms had already become quieter.

15. Low motivation

    Wanting to rest or having to push myself to train or do things I would normally approach more easily.

16. Muted enjoyment

    Gaming or another activity sometimes felt flat or disconnected, although I could still have pleasure at other times.

17. Fluctuating mood

    Moving between better periods, low or uncomfortable days, and renewed anxiety about the change.

18. Frustration and discouragement

    Feeling worn down by how long recovery was taking and why a few symptoms remained.

19. Sadness when comparing myself with the past

    Old memories of smiling and laughing could make me miss how naturally I used to feel.

20. Fear of dying in my sleep

    During roughly the first eighteen months, I worried that something might happen to me while I was asleep.

21. Fear of something happening during exercise

    In the early period, exertion could bring worry about my heart or a physical emergency, even as I later continued training and playing sports.

22. Hopelessness and crying during difficult setbacks

    In the difficult stretches of 2025, a bad day after a few better ones could leave me feeling devastated, hopeless or tearful.

23. Worry about relying on water or gum

    Although these could bring practical relief for saliva or swallowing, I worried about depending on what I called crutches.

Thinking, sleep & energy

Brain fog, tiredness, headaches and nights that wouldn’t settle.

1. Brain fog

   Feeling mentally hazy, less clear or less sharp than usual.

2. Difficulty concentrating

   Finding it harder to focus at work or hold attention when symptoms or fatigue were prominent.

3. Slower recall and word finding

   Feeling less quick-witted or having difficulty retrieving words and memories.

4. Difficulty expressing a sentence

   On one poorly slept day, I described forgetting words, struggling with phrasing and omitting words while typing.

5. Headaches

   Including morning head pain during periods of sleepiness and low energy.

6. A heavy head

   A weighted or mentally exhausted feeling, including during fatigue and illness spells.

7. Persistent tiredness

   Low energy, wanting to keep resting and feeling drained despite continuing normal responsibilities.

8. Heavy eyes and daytime sleepiness

   Wanting my eyes to close, sometimes soon after waking or after a meal.

9. Feeling unrefreshed after sleep

   Sometimes following short nights, but at other times despite reporting seven to nine hours in bed.

10. Difficulty settling into sleep

    Palpitations, mental chatter or an acute breathing flare could interfere with falling asleep.

11. Heavy or dead-feeling legs

    Part of a marked fatigue spell, alongside reduced motivation and occasional lower-back aching.

12. Feeling physically weak

    Reduced gym energy and, during illness, pronounced weakness while walking.

Jaw & TMJ

Tightness, clicking and soreness around my jaw, which I haven’t assumed was all anxiety.

1. Morning jaw tightness

   Intermittent tension around the jaw or TMJ; caffeine could make it tighter.

2. Jaw clicking or popping

   A mechanical popping sensation when moving my jaw, including after gum chewing.

3. Jaw soreness and tenderness

   Sometimes near the right ear, with discomfort when pressing the area.

4. A jaw locking or out-of-place sensation

   Occasionally in bed or on waking; I also associated some mornings with frightening dreams.

Other health experiences

Things I’ve kept in the record for context, including real food impactions, migraines and a later illness. Not all of them were anxiety.

1. Dry food sticking since childhood

   Pancakes and other dry foods could feel lodged, especially when eating quickly; water or milk often helped.

2. Actual food impactions in 2025

   Two episodes involving dry chicken or rice, distinct from a tight-throat feeling.

3. Regurgitation and repeated saliva spitting

   During an impaction, I described bringing food back up and spitting white saliva for about an hour.

4. Pills seeming stuck with chest heaviness

   Even after water and without feeling that my oesophagus was dry.

5. Nasal blockage and throat mucus

   Congestion after meals or at other times, making nasal breathing or the throat feel uncomfortable.

6. Lightheadedness or feeling off my feet

   While walking, after bending and standing, after glute extensions or when getting out of a car.

7. Visual migraine phenomena

   A history since childhood, including zigzag lines, blind spots, flash-like dots, watery eyes and sometimes a headache afterward.

8. A hot or feverish body

   During the spell when I felt physically unwell, with weakness and low appetite.

9. Widespread tingling with movement

   Standing or walking could make my whole body feel tingly or strangely ticklish.

10. Pins and needles on my back and belly

    A more specific description of the unusual skin sensations during that illness.

11. Tingling from light clothing contact

    The feeling of my shirt moving over my skin could trigger an odd sensation.

12. A tickle or butterfly feeling in my stomach

    Especially with movement, alongside the other illness symptoms.

13. Sweating while sitting at my desk

    Random sweating even while working rather than exercising.

14. Dry mouth on waking from a nap

    Despite believing I had been breathing through my nose.

15. Dark yellow urine

    Reported during the same period of reduced appetite and feeling unwell.

How they changed

Today I feel as good as I did before my first panic attack, if not better. Symptoms still flare up now and then, but my response to them is so much better than it used to be.

The short version is in what helped me most, and the full story covers what helped and what didn’t.